Day to Day Grind

Sponsorship and Investment Opportunities Available

DarkSyde Acres Haunted House and Attractions still has a few Sponsorship and Investment opportunities available for the 2012 Halloween season.

If Interested please contact Rob at for more details on becoming part of Michigan’s Fastest growing Halloween seasonal Scream park.

ALL NEW Zombie Massacre Paintball 2012

Zombie Massacre Paintball Challenge at DarkSyde Acres Haunted house in Jonesville Michigan is
 ALL NEW for 2012.
 As if it wasnt fun enough before shooting at our not quite undead rotting fleshed , maggot infested ,
Brain juice slurping  Zombies,
 DarkSyde has upgraded the attraction by Moving it INDOORS and adding a second section
where you can now shoot at
Crainium Crunching Killer Clowns in our Killer Klown Karnage Paintball Challenge.
If that wasnt enough to peak your interest,
DarkSyde acres haunted house also upgraded our Firepower to the U.S. Army Paintball Markers.
These Tactical Assault Markers arent no joke, they are sure to put any Zombie on the ground,
once and for all.
You all know how to Kill a zombie right? Ya Shoot em' in the Head....
Its YOUR Job to figure out which head!

The Alpha Black includes an M16 style six position collapsible stock and an M16 style shroud
with built-in site.
It features a realistic military appearance and comes with a high-performance 11” barrel,
an integrated carry handle and a removable magazine

Alpha Black features:
~ High-performance 11” barrel
~ Integrated carry handle
~ Removable magazine that doubles as a tool kit
~ Easy-to-maintain in-line bolt system
~ All aluminum die cast receiver
~ Stainless steel gas line
~ Quick release elbow for easy maintenance

US Army Project Salvo Designated Marksman Paintball Gun Package
There is a new tactical role in today's battles: the Designated Marksman. Not a full time sniper,
but with an upgraded service weapon capable of precision fire when needed.
Here's a package to fill that need.
 Loaded with features such as a Custom Products 14" Tactical Barrel for enhanced accuracy
without sacrificing maneuverability,
a 30mm Red Dot Sight with riser rail for target acquisition and mask clearance.
The Collapsible and Folding Stock seats into the shoulder cup and the Ergonomic Foregrip
combine for a steady shooting platform.
Be prepared for when your team needs that extra push!

Designated Marksman Package includes:
~ US Army Project Salvo Paintball Gun
~ Custom Products 14" Tactical Barrel
~ Deluxe Ergonomic Foregrip
~ Large Diameter Red Dot Sight
~ Riser Rail

Project Salvo features:
~ Officially licensed product of the US Army
~ All aluminum die cast receiver
~ 11" Quick Thread barrel (98 threads)
~ AR style barrel shroud with four picatinny rails
~ Picatinny flattop rail
~ AR style collapsibe and folding stock
~ Stainless steel gas line
~ Proven high performance in-line bolt system

~ Compatible with Alpha Black E-grip and Cyclone Feed System
~ AR style mock magazine with storage compartment
~ Removable and adjustable front and rear sights
~ Front sling mount
~ Sub 3 pound trigger pull

Youve got to be Kidding me!

As many of you already know, DarkSyde Acres is a Horse Ranch 350 days out of the year.  We adopt Wild Mustangs along with  quite a few other  breeds. For 4 years we have been wanting to open up our back 30 acres  and let them go hog wild all summer long on the  Tall field grass, we finally fenced it all in and turned 9 of the Horses loose… They were like wooohoooooo, and spent a few leisurely hours back there grazing before deciding that they would much rather come up front and  hang out by the haunted house and destroy whats left of our grass up here… grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Whenever the horses get out the first place they run is the back 30, and now that they have permission the first place they  run is back up front…… Thinking Id rather just have rabbits instead. Heres some pics 9 of the herd.


Reviews from the Midwest Haunt tour

Last week we had over 200 Haunters come thru DarkSyde Acres Haunted House as we kicked off the Midwest haunters convention Haunt tour.  At the end of the tour we asked what were some of their favorite parts. Below are some of the comments that we received after the tour. 99.5% we positive, some not so much.  Ive responded to a few of the Positives, and all of the negatives.  DarkSyde really does CARE when someone doesnt have a good time. For all of that Enjoyed your time spent on the DarkSyde, Thanks for coming and hope to see you again sometime. For those of you that did NOT enjoy your time at DarkSyde, we apologize and Hope that you have a GREAT season at your attraction.


Pretty cool, I LIKED IT!

DIDNT like the last room.

It was pretty good.

I LOVED IT! Especially the LAST ROOM!

Great OMG!

Loved the Lady in the robe.

It was AWESOME, I got a MASSAGE!


Loved it all Especially the STRIPPER! ( Note: DarkSyde has NO STRIPPERS )

Ghili Guys~ GREAT!

Acrobat Girl, Yeah it was FUN.

Girls in Kitchen, Great Jump surprises!


The whole thing was AWESOME!

Stilt Girl was AWESOME, the whole Haunt was GREAT!   ( Honk Honk)



Girl on Table, So Much FUN!

ALL OF IT! Girl on table with Guts outs!

ALL OF IT! Loved how Dark it was, was EXCELLENT!


Clowns and the Doctor.

ALL of it, especially the Last area.

It was GREAT! Last part of best!

WONDERFUL! Loved the last part!

It was FUN! Stilt Girl got me!!!

LOVED it! Couch girl.

AWESOME! Loved the rolling pin girl!

Lots of Fun_ Liked the Stilt girl.

It was GREAT! Cant say what I liked the most because there’s a Lady.

GREAT! loved all the surprise areas.


GREAT FUN! Liked the Couch Girl.

Loved all the Scenes~ WONDERFUL!

Nice Pace. Inventive and Interactive.

Some good surprises, LOVED IT!

Interaction~ It was AWESOME!

Dubstep Maze, A lot of FUN!

Great Fun, The Hanging stuff was GREAT!

Lots of fun, LOVED the variety!

Liked it all~ GOOD JOB!

GREAT! Loved the cross dressers.


Was alot of fun, LOVED the last part.

Had a Blast the whole way through.

The whole Thing! The Screaming guy in my ear. ( Ok who was SCREAMING in ears?)

It was Great! Awesome Interaction. In last Part the pregnant chick was very effective.

WONDERFUL! The last part was FANTASTIC!

BEAUTIFUL, Loved the hanging sheets.

GREAT! Pole Dancer.

Was Good, Stilt Girl and the Stripper. ( Note: Again DarkSyde has NO STRIPPERS )

STRIPPER~ AWESOME! ( Note: DarkSyde Still has NO STRIPPERS )

Pole Dancer! GREAT!

Ghili Guys~ FANTASTIC setup

QUE line~ It was AWESOME!

Last section, I lOVED it all.

Lighting and Music~ It was pretty good.

Rolling pin girl, FUN!

Dancers were all GREAT! GREAT PLACE!

Last Area was LOTS of FUN! Very Adult!

GREAT! it all was GREAT!

AWESOME! Last section was the most fun.

Pirates at the end were good.

It was FUN!, Loved the themes.

Parts were really Dark, A lot of FUN!

It was GREAT! A really good Haunted House.

Stripper Pole~LOVED the whole thing.

Great Dancers! This was a lot of Fun.

I liked all of it!

Youve got a great deal going on here!

Was Lots of FUN!

HOW DID YOU HIRE SO MANY HOT GIRLS? ( this was the most common question, Haunt owners asked me personally)

LOVED it all!

GREAT FUN! loved the middle section.


Wenches in ships sails~ Had FUN!

It was all GREAT!


I enjoyed the whole thing.

It was Fun! I enjoyed it.

Loved the stripper! ( Note: DarkSyde has NO STRIPPERS and the one we dont have has a penis!)

Girl Laying in Bed.

The Creepy doctor and his CREEPIER assistant. AWESOME HAUNT!

Kitchen area, It was GREAT!

QUE line~ worked wonderfully

LOVED the Interaction.

Kitchen area Interacted GREAT!

Pole Dancer was awesome! (I’ll tell HIM you said so)


THanks for having us, Im glad we came.

LOVED the Strippers, been wanting to do it for years…. ( wait youve been wanting to do a stripper for years? does your wife know? )( Note: DarkSyde has NO STRIPPERS )

GREAT FUN! RustHole was Great!

Very Touchy Feely? BUT GREAT!

AWESOME Layout, GREAT music!


DIDNT like the time in the QUELINE!  BUT was GREAT overall! ( DarkSyde Apologizes that you did NOT enjoy your wait in our QUEline, we understand that you run 2500 people a night thru YOUR attraction, However we had 4 hours to RUN 200 people thru and selected to give each group a 60-90 second buffer to avoid piling up guests. This is our standard policy at DarkSyde.) ( No disrespect intended to other Haunted Houses that have to send guests thru in a conga line .)

Really Enjoyed everything.

FUN! Liked the last scene the best!

Really Great! whoever is Training the actors is doing a GREAT JOB!

LOVED the Gay Pirate trying to steal my Husband. ( I have spoken with the pirate and he mentioned that your Husband was a willing participant, Later that night.)

My Favorite was the Girl on the Stripper pole. ( I’ll be sure to let HIM know! )



Wonderful place youve got here.

Glad this was one of our stops.

Rolling pin lady! I dont feel so good about myself anymore. ( you and about 3 dozen of our actors)

It was GREAT!

Alot of FUN!


Sexy LADIES in the last room!

Whole thing was FUN!


Was a Blast!

Last 2 guys were GREAT!

Rolling pin lady! Good Haunt. ( She aint NO lady!)

Clowns were scary! Awesome Deal!

So Far So Good!

LOVED the Themed Decor.

AWESOME place~ Pole Dancer was my Fave!

GREAT! Very Creative, Loved the feel.

Amateur Actors, But Overall good. Liked DSA.  ( Got to be Honest that one surprised me)

Rolling pin lady~ So Much to see!

Great Looking Girls~ LOVED it all!

Never been so thrilled to be so MOLESTED!

Loved the saucy wenches!

The Last bit was the BEST!

Drag queens in the last bit! FUN!

Fake Boobie flasher~ Tons of FUN!

Gay Pirates! Definitely! ( Our Gay Pirates are NOT only Gay, but they are FLAMBOYANTLY Gay!)

Hall of Mirrors~ lots of FUN!

Dark Maze, Had alot of FUN!

The Last part was FUN!

Last section, Overall GREAT HAUNT!

Pirates! Favorite Part.

Was alot of FUN, Thanks!

The Flashing Lights after the que line.

The Queline!

The Pregnant lady, The place is GREAT!

The Actors really make this Haunt!

Pole Dancer! AWESOME!

I got Goosed! It made it so much better!


This was AWESOME!

Very very well done.

We’re fellow Haunters and this Place is exceptional! JOB WELL DONE!

I liked the Pirates Harrassing the guys.

It was all GREAT!

AWESOME Place, Actors are GREAT!

Meh’ it was OK, didnt like it because it was so adult. ( DarkSyde Apologizes that you did NOT enjoy our attraction. DarkSyde Acres Haunted House’s Indoor attractions are geared towards an older market. Our Outdoor attractions are geared towards a family friendly market.)

The lady and gent in the Last room RAWK!


Threw me off, Very ADULT! ( Not sure if this one was a compliment or a complaint but again Darksyde’s Indoor  Attractions are geared towards a Older market.)

Themes and music were AWESOME!

It was GREAT! I liked it all!

Wonderfull use of pallets!

Loved the Boy-girls at the end!

All of it was great! AWESOME!

Not all Animatronics worked! ( DarkSyde Is an Actor focused Haunted House, We only utilize a few small animatronics, and you are correct one was not working.)

Loved the Ghili guys!

Loved the couch girl!

I liked the RustHole Best!

Enjoyed the Strippers! ( Note: DarkSyde has NO STRIPPERS, DarkSyde has Dancers, all of which do NOT strip off any clothing, and one of which has a penis. )

The Gay Guys at the end! ( For the record they arent really gay)

Definitely the Gay Pirates!

Yeah the Pirate section was HILARIOUS!

I enjoyed all of it!

The whole thing was just GREAT!

The best Fun I have been to!

2 thumbs up! Rolling pin  girl for the win!

It was FUN!

I got Groped But they didnt finish! ( Im gonna assume this was by Larry Farmer)

I got felt up! (damn clowns)

It was good, I liked all of it.

In closing as you see the Overall Majority of our Industry PEERS enjoyed their time here at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House, and this makes me pleased, Its very Hard to Scare a fellow Haunter, but there should never be a reason not to ENTERTAIN em’. Thanks again to everyone that came out to see what all the screaming is about during Halloween season!

BEST wishes on the Upcoming 2012 Haunted House season!















Review from HorrorLust in 2011

So I googled DarkSyde Acres today and decided to see what others were saying about the haunt,and I came across this Review.


A fog crept over the countryside as we headed for Jonesville, a countryside dotted with looming barns, decrepit farm houses, and Victorian estates. It was quiet and nearly deserted when we arrived at Darksyde Acres, a former pig farm. Outwardly it may have appeared docile but within its bowels all manner of creatures lurked both beautiful and hideous, deranged and merry. Darksyde Acres boasts three attractions — The Catacombs, Rusthole, and The Dark Abyss; the first two run concurrently. We purchased our tickets, were told to follow a row of colorful, blinking lights, and warned of the anal trauma ahead. We made a porta-potty pit stop at the entrance of the first haunt, when McCreary opened the door a blood stained, saber toothed, man-sized rabbit leaped from the latrine. Darksyde had used a gag I’d long sought to witness even before we entered the attraction; I already liked the place.

A tall, portly Elvis impersonator welcomed us into the haunt, before us was a winding queue area with small but numerous scenes on either side. We walked down a center path until a deliciously devilish voice informed us that we were going the wrong way. We turned toward the voice — a scantily clad haunt vixen! My eyes may have popped out of my head whilst steam shot from my ears. Beside me John’s jaw dropped to the floor and his tongue rolled cartoonishly from his mouth. There’s definitely a chance that Jason begun removing his pants. Even McCreary was momentarily stunned by the brazen hotness of it all. The dark temptress corrected our path and was soon joined by a second femme fatale. The duo scampered off at times only to reappear and make sexual remarks or would otherwise be found in erotic poses with props. Jason wondered aloud if perhaps we hadn’t crossed over into some sort of blissful haunt afterlife. Such reveries were interrupted briefly when a dainty young man in a dress beckoned us closer and flashed us his nipples, he would later attempt to kiss Jason. Such shenanigans were salacious and attention grabbing and set the stage well for what was to follow. We approached the end of the queue line and came to rest on the threshold of the haunt, the Disco Devil and I took the first shift.

The approach at Darksyde Acres is intense, raunchy, and rare. Guests will not be wowed by flashy animatronics nor can this be accurately called a haunted attraction in the traditional sense, this is something different. Many of the actors are a wild, twisted breed, perhaps the best example of this is a pair of clowns respectively named Bubbles and Pickles. Pickles is a frenzied ball of energy and as horny as a toad, he lovingly spoke of rape and begged that we allow him to grab our backsides. When we obliged Pickles’ excitement grew tenfold an he implored that we return the favor which I thought was only fair. The stimulus propelled Pickles into a crazed euphoria, he whooped and giggled uncontrollably and quite literally bounced from one wall to the next. For an instant I thought perhaps my long time friend Stu was behind the make up. Bubbles in contrast had a more purely sinister nature although even he had a penchant for comedy which was revealed during a conversation about his rumored polka-sotted phallus.

As we traveled deeper into the attraction we traversed crypts, graveyards, and absolute darkness. A steady stream of heavy metal flooded our ears and a tone point I was pleased to hear the circus inspired sound of Creature Feature. We were assailed by zombies, demons, and hot, dead girls. You read that correctly — hot, dead girls! Smoking deadites appeared behind bars equipped with stripper moves and it was in a word, mesmerizing. One particular scene even involved a stripper pole and some fancy moves, but that as we would later find out was a cruel illusion.

Rating: 4 stars

A short walk separates the attractions, the final of which is themed after an old pirate ship — The Dark Abyss. Here, Captain Karcass and his crew have been bound for some 300 years and as you might imagine they’re typically eager to add new souls to their league of damned, but on this night they were mostly jovial — a bit sarcastic perhaps but on the whole in good spirits. Captain Karcass delighted us with some witty banter before he sent us on our way through halls full of lusty wenches, decomposing bodies, and malevolent mariners. The ship was elaborately detailed, highlighted by a hallway of askew mirrors and one room full of dead pirates and treasure. The attraction even had a peculiar smell, a hint of bonfire and something else that was strangely familiar yet elusive.

Rating: 3.25 stars

Locations such as Darksyde Acres are the reason we continue to visit haunted attractions. The actors delivered a nearly flawless performance displaying superb interaction, effective vocalizations, and creative improvisation. The recurring threat of anal trauma is emphasized well first by the howling harlequins and then by the angst ridden Cain who dwells in the dank recesses of The Rusthole. Darksyde Acres features a good mix of dark passages, immersive scenes, and surreal strangeness — oh yeah the half naked girls don’t hurt either. In my opinion this secluded homestead of horror is worth the drive from anywhere in the Metro-Detroit area.

ACTORs wanted for 2012

DarkSyde Acres Haunted House in Jonesville, Michigan will be replacing 18 actors from the 2011 season. If you think you have what it takes to be one of DarkSyde’s Minions, then be sure to contact Rob at

DarkSyde Acres is NOT a jump out and go BOO type of Haunted attraction, DarkSyde Acres is NOT a Freddy, Jason, or Michael Myers  wannabe type of Haunted Attraction, DarkSyde Acres IS one of the most extreme in your face types of Haunted Attractions in the nation, so bring your A-Game and show me what you got.

DarkSyde Requires all Actors to pass standard Criminal and Sex offender background checks, DarkSyde requires all Actors to be at least 18 years of age , DarkSyde requires a minimum of 10 day commitment per season, DarkSyde requires 100% dedication to the show,  If you feel you can meet all requirements to be apart of one of the worlds largest and fastest growing Haunted Attractions then again contact Rob At for further details. 

Thanks again to all our staff and guest actors

Once again just want to say thanks to everyone for coming out in JUNE to help kick of the Midwest Haunters convention pre con Haunt tour…. Couldnt have done it without you all…..  REMEMBER, WE”RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE AINT ALL THERE!   Here are some pics of some amazing people…enjoy

MHC Haunt tour gone and past

DarkSyde Acres Haunted House opened its doors on wednesday to the Midwest Haunters convention to kick off their Haunt Tour. 4 bus loads of Haunted House Owners and Halloween enthusiasts Arrived at our gates at 2 pm to see if what they have heard about DarkSyde Acres was actually true….  I dont think they expected to actually get the FULL TREATMENT.  The Ghouls at DarkSyde gave them everything and quite abit more. The Reviews  and feedback were Great and very Positive some of which will be posted later this week.

Id like to thank those of our staff that have been busting ass for the past 4 months making the improvements , without you guys , the show wouldnt have been so awesome.

Id like to thank the actors for coming out in June, some as early as 5am, some taking off work, to insure that Haunters from all over the country would get their scream on….. Without you Darksyde would not be the same. Remember minions ACTORS make a great Haunted house. Speaking of Actors I would like to thank our Guest Actors that traveled from 3 states and across one international border to be apart of DarkSyde for a day!

In closing, Id like to thank everyone who has and continues to Support DarkSyde Acres Haunted House, You make it all worthwhile.

3 days until Haunt Tour

With only 3 days until DarkSyde Acres Haunted House opens its gates of hell to the Midwest Haunters Convention Haunt tour, we are busy as all out putting on the final touches. Shane from Http:// has created some incredible signage and heres another sneak peek of One of the signs….. This is the RUSTY ANCHOR sign for our revamped Concession stand, Big Rich, Heather, have been hard at work getting the inside up to par for the 2012 season while Atalie has done a phenomenal job of Landscaping it with beautiful plants that look very Aquatic, Shane did an amazing Job on the Sign and Ive been busy doing what I do to the outside.  Thanks to all involved making this an incredible themed Concession stand… be sure to visit the Rusty Anchor in 2012 for all of your Grub n Grog needs while at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House.

A day at the Great Lakes FrightFest

So Atalie, Big Rich, Katie Lane and I escaped the confines of DarkSyde Acres Haunted House yesterday and made the trek to the Totempole campgrounds in  Petersburg, Michigan to join what seemed like at least 500 Home Haunters, Halloween Enthusiasts, and a few top names in the Haunt Industry. The day was spent mingling with old friends, new friends, and a few others NOT to be mentioned… >:(  But overall it was a GREAT day.

Brian Taylor and his oh so beautiful wife Kkrazy Karen with the help of countless loyal minions have been putting on this wonderful event for more years than I can remember and it was Great to see how large its grown and has kept its one on one feel to it.

Each year they over run a nice quiet quaint little campground in petersburg, Michigan  for 3 days the first weekend in June.  within a 72 hour time period they set up a 20 room Haunted House, host a Seminar series worthy of any MAJOR Convention , with speakers from all over the country, educating their guests with everything from how to carve a prop to how to run your own haunted house.   Did I mention not only do they Teach you, and entertain  you but they FEED you, a giant Breakfast, and Amazing Lunch, and oh My frigging God, a dinner spread to rival a Kings buffet.  This year they had a special appearance by the Ring of steel, a theatrical combat group out of Ann Arbor Michigan, this troupe was utterly amazing.

The Haunted House was a wonderful treat,I am constantly amazed at the talent shown within the walls of their attraction every year!

Special thanks to Brian, Kkrazy Karen and all of their minions for putting on such a great event year after year.

Special shout outs to…. Tim, Tater,CRazy Bob Turner, his wife Beth, Robert Beech, Deanna, Big Rex Hamilton, and everyone else that we spent a little extra time with .  Sidenote to the Muchy the clown, I love the fact that quite few people actually thought you were with DarkSyde  due to your extreme nature, and slutty victim……

Good luck to Wyndell this upcoming week with a medical procedure, remember if something goes south, I gets the leftover pieces….