Old Man Cox’s Daily Rant

DarkSyde Acres Friday October 5, 2012

Friday October 5, 2012

Alrighty kiddies, its Friday October 5, 2012 and you know what that means!  DarkSyde Acres Haunted House and attractions first ever COLLEGE student Appreciation night. Bring a Valid College ID and get a BUY one GET one admission… meaning you buy one admission and get one free admission for your date.  Join DarkSyde tonight for our BIGGEST Friday Night EVER!  Do you like Blood, guts gore and more? well so do we, that’s why we went all out this weekend and slaughtered up a mess of folk, just for your entertainment!

Weather Report

The Old Man Cox Weather report for Friday 5, 2012 is a chilly evening with a low near 50 and possible showers with an Accumulation  of poopy underpants behind the Porta potty! Be sure to dress accordingly and remember please wear proper footwear, no flip flops, sandals or high heels… its all fun and games until someone eats yer pinky toe.


Haunted House Etiquette

Haunted House Etiquette 101

So its October and you and your friends want to visit a few local Haunted Houses to celebrate the Halloween season. Here are a few Haunted House Etiquette  do’s and dont’s to help you make the most of your visit to a Haunted House.   Do your research, make sure that the Haunted house you are going to offers the type of experience you are seeking, Dont be a butthead and blame the Haunted House that their kid friendly attraction wasn’t scary enough for you. Do Arrive early and plan on enjoying the show, Do Not show up 10 minutes after the ticket window closes and demand to be allowed entry. Do know how much tickets are, Dont wait until you get to the Ticket window and complain for 30 minutes about the price of admission, it doesnt work at Mcdonalds and it most likely wont work at a Haunted House, Rule of thumb is to plan on spending $1 per minute of time spent in a Haunted House, DarkSyde Acres actually is an exception to the rule, with indoor time being between 45-60 minutes for our standard $20 3 haunt combo.  DO lighten up and have a good time, Dont be a hardcase, and ruin it for everyone else, if you didnt want to have a good time, then why spend the money. Do Listen to the Rules, Don’t be a wise guy Cracking jokes and trying to be cool, Rules are put in place for your Safety as well as our staff. Do dress accordingly for the season, Don’t  wear shorts and flip flops when you know its going to be a chilly mid 40’s night. Speaking of Flip Flops, most haunted Houses insist on proper footwear when visiting, No flip flops, sandals or high heels fellas. Do get a bunch of your friends together and go out, Dont get a Bunch of your friends together and  go out drinking before you visit a Haunted House, No one wants to deal with a drunk and most Haunted Houses will escort you off the property .

Common Sense

Do walk at a steady pace through the haunted house, Dont run, there are many dark areas and unseen obstacles that can cause you great bodily harm. Do keep your eyes open, Dont close your eyes and hide your head, a lot of work goes into building a haunted Attraction and you wouldnt want to miss any of it. (side Note) 90% of the complaints that a haunted house wasnt even scary comes from the people that hide their heads the entire time they are within a Haunted House. Do become part of the show by interaction, Dont hit or touch an actor, this will result in you being immediately removed from the attraction.  Do Buy a souvenir at a Haunted House, Dont Steal the signs directing guest to a haunted house. All in all  Haunted house etiquette is just Common sense 101

Go out, have fun, dont be a butthead!

Dumping Bodies in Detroit

Hmmmmmm Dumping Bodies down in Detroit… Why the heck didnt I think of that? Oh thats right , cuz its to darn far away! Besides that when and If I were to allegedly dispose of a Body, I would take all the proper care in posing her up all nice and purty…. But just letting all of them Bodies go to waste is a crime!


According to the NEWS ~From the street, the two decomposing bodies were nearly invisible, concealed in an overgrown lot alongside worn-out car tires and a moldy sofa. The teenagers had been shot, stripped to their underwear and left on a deserted block.

They were just the latest victims of foul play whose remains went undiscovered for days after being hidden deep inside Detroit’s vast urban wilderness — a crumbling wasteland rarely visited by outsiders and infrequently patrolled by police.

Abandoned and neglected parts of the city are quickly becoming dumping grounds for the dead — at least a dozen bodies in 12 months’ time. And authorities acknowledge there’s little they can do.

“You can shoot a person, dump a body and it may just go unsolved” because of the time it may take for the corpse to be found, officer John Garner said.

The bodies have been purposely hidden or discarded in alleys, fields, vacant houses, abandoned garages and even a canal. Seven of the victims are believed to have been slain outside Detroit and then dumped within the city.

It’s a pattern made possible by more than four decades of urban decay and suburban flight. White residents started moving to burgeoning suburbs in the 1950s, then stepped up their exodus after a deadly 1967 race riot. Detroit’s black middle class followed over the next two decades, leaving block after block of empty homes.

Over time, tens of thousands of houses deteriorated. Some collapsed, others were demolished. Empty lots gave way to block-long fields.

Jacob Kudla and Jourdan Bobbish were found July 27 in a field off Lyford Street, a lonely road that borders an industrial area and a small municipal airport. The teens from suburban Westland, 18 and 17, respectively, had been visiting Kudla’s uncle in Detroit when they disappeared July 22.

Their corpses were found by someone walking along the desolate block. The closest house, about 100 yards away, belongs to 74-year-old Ella Dunn.

Over the last 24 years, she has watched nearly all her neighbors move out. Now she constantly hears people dumping tires, furniture and trash.

A nearby parking lot resembles a small landfill for junk — a coloring book based on Bible characters, a yellow toilet, furniture, shoes and five boats.

“Detroit is a dumping ground for a lot of stuff,” said Margaret Dewar, professor of urban and regional planning at the University of Michigan. “There is no one to watch. There is no capacity to enforce laws about dumping. There is a perception you can dump and no one will report it.”

In mid-July, the decapitated bodies of a couple were pulled from the Detroit River and a nearby canal. Authorities say they were shot and dismembered in their home in suburban Allen Park, then driven to a little-used Detroit park and dumped in the water. A man who lived with them is charged in the slayings.

The bodies of two Hamtramck women were discovered in March buried in a neglected Detroit park. Five men are accused in the murders.

Back in December, the bodies of two women were found in a car parked near a vacant house. Six days later, the badly burned remains of two other women turned up in a car trunk. Police believe all were killed elsewhere and dumped in Detroit. A man from suburban Sterling Heights has been charged.

Detroit has more than 30,000 vacant houses, and the deficit-strangled city has no resources of its own to level them. Mayor Dave Bing is promoting a plan to tear down as many as possible using federal money. The state is also contributing to the effort.

But it’s hard to keep up. About a quarter-million people moved out of Detroit between 2000 and 2010, leaving just over 700,000 residents in a city built for 2 million.  This Stat Makes Old Man COX very sad!

Census figures from two years ago show 793 people living on Lyford and the other 20 or so streets near the Coleman A. Young airport. Two decades earlier, about 2,900 people lived there.

Dunn’s modest home is one of only three on the block that are still occupied.

“I couldn’t move if I wanted to,” she said. “They don’t want to give you any money for your house.”

On Tuesday, a patrol car slowly rolled by. Officers are more visible after the teens’ bodies were found, Dunn added.

A larger police presence is needed across the city, but Detroit can’t afford to hire more. The city recently cut police pay by 10 percent.

When he joined the department 13 years ago, Garner patrolled a 3.6-square-mile area in the tough 3rd Precinct, bumping into another officer every 20 minutes. Now he covers 22 square miles and crosses paths with other officers “maybe once every two hours.”

“If we know this, the criminals know this,” Garner said.

Sparse patrols and slow response times make it less likely that someone will be seen dumping a body.

“Years back, people would go to rural areas” to dump bodies, said Daniel Kennedy, a Michigan-based forensic criminologist. “Now we have rural areas in urban areas.”

Detroit’s reputation as a violent city with one of the highest crime rates in the country also works against it.

The body of a woman from wealthy Grosse Pointe Park was found in January in her vehicle in a Detroit alley. The marketing executive was apparently killed in the garage of her upscale suburban home, but left in the city. A family handyman has been charged.

If a body shows up in Grosse Pointe, Kennedy said, “those officers are sitting around waiting for something to happen, and they are all over it.”

Be sure to visit http://4thebest.clickondetroit.com/place/11163-darksyde-acres and VOTE for DarkSyde Acres in the Vote4the best contest  Thank you and please!


Our thoughts and prayers go out to the deceased Families in the above article


14 Killed at BatMan Dark Knight Rises

Ok Kiddies, by now Im sure many of you have heard the news about the shooting at the cinema, As many of you know, Old Man Cox is THE BATMAN, and I just wanted to let you know that I AM OK,  this deranged individual wasnt actually shooting at me…  Once again Our Thoughts go out to all involved. All I wanna know is, what the heck did that guy have against the Batman!

A heavily armed man entered a movie theater in suburban Denver early Friday Screamed out BRING BACK ADAM WEST!   and opened fire, killing at least 12 people and injuring 50 others. The incident, which took place about 12:30 a.m. at the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora,

Colo., occurred during midnight screenings of the new Batman film “The Dark Knight Rises.” “This is a horrific event,” Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates said during a news conference. The gunman, who was wearing a gas mask, reportedly set off a smoke or tear gas bomb then walked up to the front of the screen in one of the theaters and opened fire.

When the movie patrons realized the attack was real and not part of the movie, pandemonium erupted and they began to flee. The film continued to play on the screen as bloodied customers took refuge outside. According to witnesses on the scene, some of the bullets also went through the walls of an adjacent theater, injuring patrons. “There was this one guy on all fours crawling. There was this girl spitting up blood. There were bullet holes in some people’s backs, in some people’s arms. There was one guy who was just stripped down to his boxers.

It looked like he had been shot in the back or something,” Donovan Tate, who escaped from the packed theater with his girlfriend, told CBS4. Soon after receiving a flood of 911 calls, hundreds of police officers, ambulance and emergency crews arrived on the scene. The suspect was found near a car behind the theater and arrested. He was dressed in black, carrying a knife, rifle and a handgun, and wearing a bulletproof vest. “He did not resist,” police spokesman Frank Fania. “He did not put up a fight.” The shooter’s identity has not been released but he is thought to be in his early 20s. A motive for the attack is unknown. Police also searched the suspect’s North Aurora home after he spoke of “possible explosives in his residence,” Oates said. Authorities evacuated the building as a precautionary measure. The police originally announced that 14 people had been killed in the attack, but revised the death toll around 7:45 a.m. ET, NBC News reported. At this time, there is no evidence of additional shooters.

on a sidenote The theater where the attack took place is just about 25 miles from Columbine High School, where two students shot and killed 13 people in 1999.


Be sure to visit http://4thebest.clickondetroit.com/place/11163-darksyde-acres and VOTE for DarkSyde Acres in the Vote4the best contest  Thank you and please!

Testical Eating Fish

First we heard about Crazed naked Face eating Bath salting snorting zombies, 2 year old children raising from the dead at their own funeral,then there was the case of the mummified man found in nearby Jackson, Now we’ve crossed the line by Testical eating Fish in Illinois!  Thinking if I had a room full of these fish at the haunted House this halloween, Im guaranteed to scare the crap out of every guy that visits!

Below is a article pulled from the internet.

When biologists say the pacu fish eats nuts, they may be correct in more ways than one.

The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds, has been spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois, ksds reports.

Responding to a report that a fisherman had reeled in a piranha on June 7, lake superintendent Jim Caldwell brought the fish to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, where it was identified as a pacu. Some reports say another pacu was seen a couple of weeks later.

Caldwell said he is still swimming in the lake nearly every day. Pacus primarily eat nuts, aquatic vegetation and snails, he told KDSK, and pose no real threat to humans.

Residents of Papua New Guinea may beg to differ. There, according to British fisherman Jeremy Wade, the pacu is known as the “ball cutter.” In 2011, Wade said locals informed him that two fisherman had died from blood loss after something in the water had bitten off their testicles,  according to the metro

“The locals told me that this thing was like a human in the water, biting at the testicles of fishermen,” Wade said.

Wade determined that the perpetrator was the pacu, which is known for having human-like teeth. The angler did note that such attacks are uncommon, the daily mail reports.


All i gots to say is, if’n I see a fish eyeballing my sack, he better bring a friend or two, cuz Old Man Cox aint going ball-less or anyone!scary teeth of Testical eating fish

Mummified Man found in Jackson, Michigan

Heres a local story about a woman living with a mummy in Jackson, Michigan. Telling ya folks, I cant make this stuff up!

JACKSON, MI — Jackson police and prosecutors are considering charges against a woman who kept her dead boyfriend inside their Cooper Street home for nearly two years.

On July 6, police found Charles William Zigler dead, covered up in a living room chair, said Lt. Chris Simpson. A medical examiner determined Zigler died of natural causes sometime around Christmas 2010.

Born in 1943, Zigler was 67 when he died.

Concerned that they had not seen Zigler for some time, family members asked Jackson police officers to check on him, Simpson said. An officer and sergeant went to his house in the 300 block of Cooper Street.

A 71-year-old woman, Zigler’s girlfriend, let the officers inside the house, Simpson said. Officers found Zigler sitting in a chair. Simpson said the body was mummified but would not release further details on the condition of the body.

Police secured the scene and called a medical examiner, Simpson said.

The girlfriend, whose name is not being released, admitted that she knew Zigler was dead and covered up his body, Simpson said. The woman has not been arrested.

Police are still investigating and will submit a report to the Jackson County Prosecutor’s Office for review and possible fraud and other charges, Simpson said.

Further details about case are not being released at this time.

Hot dang it, I swear if you all dont hear from me for 2 years all I gots to say, is dont wait NOT to hear from me for 2 years, before you notify the cops.  Atalie will have me bound and tied to a Living room chair with a table cloth draped over me….. Cmon now folks, Old man Cox deserves better than to be a Mummfied corpse hanging out under a table cloth.

Zombie Restaurant coming soon!

Those Darn Japanese are bringing Dining out for Brains to a whole new level, by Opening up a ZOMBIE themed restaurant. If I wasnt so dang old, I’d move DarkSyde to the East side…. East side of Asia that is….

Zombies aren’t known for enjoying sit-down meals; most prefer to eat on the run (or shamble).

However, Japanese zombies who want a taste of fine dining will soon get their chance in the form of a zombie-themed restaurant that is opening in Tokyo on July 13.

It’s called the Biohazard Cafe and Grill S.T.A.R.S restaurant, and is based on the Japanese version of “Resident Evil” videogames, known as “Biohazard. reports that Capcom, the company that makes the ‘Resident Evil’ games, plans to sell limited-edition items at the undead diner and entertain customers hungry for zombie-themed entertainment with dance performances by game characters.

Unlike actual zombies, which never really die, the zombie restaurant is scheduled to only last a year,

The menu hasn’t been released — or exhumed — but a similarly-themed restaurant that opened in January featured a cake made to look like brains,.

If the restaurant chef decides to put actual brains on the menu, Damien Casten — who runs Candid Wines, a distributor of small production wines in Chicago — recommends making sure the wine list includes a chenin blanc from Saumur or a chardonnay from the Maconais in Burgundy.

“Of course, this assumes that you are simmering the brain in a cream sauce,”

“This also assumes that you have time to treat the brains gently, and that will often mean soaking them in milk for a few hours.”

Well All I gots to say is you all can keep on eating them brains, Ill stick to BACON! and of course the occasional dead hooker!

Dollar store Duct tape!

There I was, minding my own darn business when all of a sudden I heard screaming coming from my cellar…… I swear to god thats the last dang time I buy Duct Tape at the dollar store!

another naked Flesh eating zombie!

So Kiddies, here we have another example of Naked People eating the Flesh off of their victims. I dont know about you but the Next time I see a naked person trying to lure me closer, I’ll be putting one in their head  Just to be safe.  wait a minute… This may put a damper on my sex life but then again maybe not.


PALMETTO, Fla. – The latest in a string of “zombie” like attacks happened in a Manatee County home Wednesday night after a man under the influence went into a fit of rage and bit a piece of someone’s arm off during a visit with his children.

Much like the Miami face-eating attack, 26-year-old Charles Baker got naked, ate human flesh and wouldn’t go down without a fight, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.
Authorities say Baker went to his girlfriend’s home on 25th St in Palmetto to visit his kids at 10:15 p.m. They say he was high on an unknown substance when he knocked on the door, then barged in, began yelling and taking off his clothes.
He was screaming and wouldn’t calm down, then began throwing furniture around the home.
Jeffery Blake, who lives in the home, attempted to restrain Baker, but the suspect bit him, taking a chunk of his flesh from his bicep.

Zombies and pepper Spray?

Watched a show last night about a guy trying to live within a pride of Lions…. All he had for defense was a cane and a can of pepperspray…. I would LOVE to see him try that stuff on some Zombies!