Haunted House in Michigan Zombie Interview

Ok Kiddies, Once again as promised Old Man Cox has a interview with yet another  of the Ghouls at DarkSyde Acres Haunted house in Michigan, this time I’m interviewing one of the Zombies in the Catacombs. So grab a chair, turn the lights down low, put on some relaxing music and lets see what Richter Mortis has to say about himself in this Michigan Haunted House zombie interview.

Whats your name?

Richter Mortis

Richter Mortis? Richter Mortis? Oh wait a minute I get it.. It’s a word play on Rigor Mortis , which just happens to be  one of the recognizable signs of death caused by chemical changes in the muscles after death, causing the limbs of the corpse  to become stiff and difficult to move or manipulate. In humans, it begins after about three to four hours, and reaches maximum stiffness after 12 hours, and gradually dissipates from approximately 24 hours after death.  Well played Richter Mortis well Played.

Richter Mortis Darksyde acres Haunted House zombie

Where are you from?

Norway, but my parents were from Philadelphia originally.

Interesting, Did you know that the Worlds most easy to scare man also comes from Norway? Apparently this guy poops his pants at the mere thought of a mouse fart in the wind, His co-workers have made quite the spectacle of him much to their amusement. Poor Basse,  be sure to check him out on you tube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfQ4t2E7iAU&feature=youtu.be

Which of the 7 different haunted Attractions do you lurk within?

The Catacombs!

Isn’t The Catacombs Haunted House is one of the three indoor Haunted Houses  at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House and attractions in Michigan ? Its the Haunted House with all of the darn brain eating, maggot infested Zombies. One of my favorite parts is walking through the Cemetery  near the beginning of it. Zombies and Haunted Houses are a perfect match. HA! I also like Shooting the Zombies with Paintball Guns at the Zombie Paintball attraction… Maybe in 2015 I’ll be able to shoot a few paint balls at you Richter Mortis.

 What is your official title at DSA?

I used to be called the butthole zombie, but now I’m the leader of the zombies

Don’t Kid yourself Richter, you’ll always be the butthole Zombie in our eyes. All Kidding aside, I bet you keep your hands full trying to keep all of those Zombies in line, I hear Zombies aren’t the brightest bunch, In fact the Clowns in Klowntown have said that Zombies are down right brainless.

 Have you ever worked at another Haunted House?

Nope. I wouldn’t call what I do here work either. It’s more like a 4 to 5 hour buffet every Friday and Saturday during the months of September and October.

 How long have you been a Michigan Haunted House Zombie?

 How long have you been scaring at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House?

Since 2011

So This will be your fifth year as a Zombie in a Michigan Haunted House in 2015, That’s pretty impressive, Most Zombies fall to pieces within the first 6 months after Halloween. You Must be living right and watching who you eat. 2015 will be DarkSyde Acres Haunted House’s eighth year Michigan. Time sure flies when your’e having fun scaring people.

 Do you have a favorite scary movie?

People under the stairs. The Guy in the S&M suit cracks me up!

Nice Choice of scary movies, so basically what you’re saying is that you like guys in  skin tight suits? Personally I like em’ in M&M suits, and minus the penis’ but thats just me.

Do you have a special scare tactic?

Shock and Awe!

LOL I bet you got to love the Shock and Awe I just pooped my pants faces, you get while scaring the crap out of people at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House. 

 What is your favorite type of Guest to scare?

I like the teenage girls (a group of 4 or more) who scream in octaves only dogs can hear. They either huddle or scatter!

Wait, I thought you said you liked the guys in skin tight suits, How about a Emo boy in skinny jeans? 

Have you ever made someone poop their pants?

On many occasions! I’ve made them crap, pee, pass out, I’ve made grown men cry and once had a 9 year old girl ninja-kick me in the ribs out of reflex.

Better the Ribs than your no-no spot, nothing can take the fun out of being a Michigan haunted house zombie and scaring people than having them drop kick your sack from the 50 yard line.

 Do you have a all time favorite Scare memory?

Horsejuice and I once worked together on a scare that made these two girls jump 15 feet back and gained a foot and a half altitude before hitting the wall like a couple of rag dolls. I laughed at that one for an hour!

Hard to believe some people call that work, sounds like a good time to me. I’m not even going to ask you in the heck would name a zombie Horse Juice. 

 What was your family dynamic?

Mother, father, 2 half  brothers. (My mom got around, alright?)  Recently my brothers Moldy and Mulciber have unearthed. So you may be seeing them this fall as well.

Oh yeah, your mother gets around all right. Ha! Tell her I got room for one more in the back of the truck. Don’t worry Richter, I’ll have her home before Eleven, well must of her anyways.

 How was your childhood?

Born in Norway, raised in Amsterdam. What can I say?

Speaking of being raised in Norway, stop me if you’ve heard this one, Ole’s neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, “Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I’m Norvegian?” “No,” said Sven, “It’s because you’re NINETEEN. HA!  That kills me! Laugh it up Richter Mortis, Its not often I get to tell that joke to normal folks.

What was the most traumatizing event in your life?

Pre mortem: Being shot.

Post mortem: being nicked in the head with a shovel by Hettie who was digging me up for haunt season last year!

You can never trust a Hettie with a shovel, I bet she didn’t even say she was sorry, being the hateful ghoul that she is. Wouldn’t surprise me none if she wasn’t the one who shot you in the first place. 

What made you become a DarkSyde Acres Haunted House zombie?

What brought you here to be a zombie in Michigan at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House?

It’s the only place in Michigan, where I can be myself and not be arrested or shot at by local authorities.

The Management team at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House takes in all kinds of misfits from all walks of life, including Zombies, ghouls, clowns, pirates and the occasional dancing dead girl, I bet you fit right in with that morbid crowd.

How do you feel towards other people?

They’re delicious!

Speaking of Delicious here’s another funny for you, What does a zombie get when he comes home late for dinner?
 The cold shoulder! get it boy, a cold shoulder? get it? get it?

How do they regard you?

They often accuse me of wearing a mask. Funny, they are the ones still wearing the flesh on their skulls.

Sweet delicious flesh, you’re making me hungry Richter, whats for lunch?

Is there anyone/anything you absolutely despise?

People who won’t get the hell in the coffin! (I end up barfing in their hair to motivate them)

 I have the same problem trying to get the girls into the burlap bags, its not like I don’t clean the bags out first.

 What makes you unique/different?

I’m like a cross between Beetle juice, Skeletor, and Jack Nicholson.

I can see the resemblance, you handsome dog you.

 If you are deceased, how did you die?

Severe jock itch infection

I told you to stay away from those DarkSyde Girls, but no, you wouldn’t listen. Now look at you!

What are your hopes and aspirations?

To see if I can’t get entire groups of people to crap themselves!

If you do, you’re going to have to clean it up, That’s not in my job description at the Haunted House, and they don’t Pay me near enough to clean up that much poop. Well Kiddies that concludes my Interview with Richter Mortis , one of my all time favorite Haunted House Zombies in Michigan. stay tuned for my next Interview coming soon to www.darksydeacres.com