Old Man Cox’s Daily Rant

Somebody dun threw away a perfectly good white girl!

So them dang fools at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House in Jonesville, Michigan Had the Midwest Haunters convention Haunt tour out on wednesday . Apparently over 220 Haunted house owners and halloween enthusiasts visited DarkSyde to see what all the screaming was about…… I figured Id drop by and see for myself, only to find this perfectly good hardly used white girl in the Garbage can.  Thanks DarkSyde she was DERICIOUS!   I cant wait until Halloween if they are going to keep throwing out stuff like this!

2 year old comes back to life at Funeral.

Im telling you people , the  Zombie Apocalypse is getting closer, heres another example of  the dead coming back to life and apparently Thirsty…  Good news is he asked for water and not BRAINNNNNNSSSSS!

A two year-old toddler who was pronounced dead, sat up on his coffin during his funeral and asked his father for a drink of water before laying lifeless in the coffin once again.

Kelvin Santos was declared dead after he stopped breathing due to complications with pneumonia at Aberlardo Santos Hospital in the northern Brazilian city of Belem. The family held an open-casket wake later that day.

An hour before his funeral, the boy apparently sat back up and asked his father for a drink of water.

The entire family thought they had witnessed a miracle and that Kelvin had in fact come back to life. But a few seconds later, the little boy’s body fell back in the casket and the family couldn’t wake him up again.

The boy was rushed back to the hospital where he was pronounced dead a second time.

“Dead people don’t just wake up and talk,” said Antonio Santos, the boy’s father  “I’m determined to find out the truth.”

A similar case occurred in Argentina earlier this year. Except this one had a happy ending.

Analia Bouter fell to her knees in shock after finding her baby alive in a coffin in the morgue nearly 12 hours after the girl had been declared dead. Her baby daughter, born three months premature, was pronounced a stillborn on April 3rd in a hospital in the city of Resistencia. The baby was put in a coffin and sent to a morgue.

Twelve hours later her parents were able to open the coffin to say their goodbyes. Instead, they found their baby was trembling.

“I moved the coverings aside and saw the tiny hand, with all five fingers, and I touched her hand and then uncovered her face,” said the mother in to TeleNoticias, an international news channel. “That’s where I heard a tiny little cry. I told myself I was imagining it – it was my imagination. And then I stepped back and saw her waking up. It was as if she was saying `Mama, you came for me!’

A morgue worker picked her up and confirmed the baby was alive.

All I can say if damn Dead Hookers start coming back to life… Im screwed


Tis the season for BBQ goodness!

Someone once asked me, what was my favorite type of Hooker………. Well der I love my Hookers BBQ’d ! heh Gotta love me some crispy pickin’s!   >:(

Another Brain eating fleshbag…

In yet another case of Fact is stranger than fiction we have a bonehead in Maryland arrested for eating his Room mate… Im telling you kiddies the Zombie Apocalypse is right around the fucking corner…. god dammit amateurs getting all the press…. Just cause they are to damn stupid to hide the bodies…….

JOPPATOWNE, Md. — A Morgan State University student has admitted to investigators that he consumed the heart and part of the brain of a man who was found dismembered in the student’s home. ( who in the hell , leaves part of a brain just laying around, Its not proper to not eat it in one setting!)

Alexander Kinyua, 21, has been charged with first-degree murder a week after Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37, went missing. The two men apparently shared the home in Joppatowne, an unincorporated area just outside of Baltimore, the Sun reported.

Kinyua is an electrical engineering major at Morgan State and was involved in the university’s ROTC program until January. Late Tuesday night, Kinyua’s father notified police that his son, Kinyua’s brother, discovered human remains in the basement of the house. A human head and human hands were found in metal tins.  ( Oops Grandma thats not a fruitcake)

Other remains were found in a Dumpster near a church.

Kinyua was ordered held without bail at a court appearance this afternoon. ( Bail, hell you wanna punish him, ordered him held without LUNCH! )

This horrific incidence comes within the same week of a naked man in Miami chewing another man’s face before being shot to death by police Monday and a Hackensack man stabbing himself and throwing bits of intestines at police Tuesday. ( yep the End is near you doomsayers! )

Naked Man eats face?

Holy shitfuckhell, I keeps telling yalls that Life is stranger than fiction,  This is the stuff we cant make up at our Haunted House, not even on Halloween.

In a grisly attack that resembled something out of a horror movie, a naked man was discovered in downtown Miami on Saturday, May 26, in the process of chewing off the face of another man.  The attacker, who had already devoured the victim’s eyes, nose and ears, growled at a police officer, who shot him several times after numerous orders to desist. The victim was left fighting for his life, with 75% of his face missing.

The bizarre incident unfolded around 2 p.m. on a sun-drenched pedestrian ramp next to a freeway. A passing cyclist who witnessed the brutal assault couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw two naked men lying on the ground, one gnawing on the face of the other.

“The guy was like tearing him to pieces with his mouth, so I told him, ‘Get off!’ ” the cyclist, Larry Vega, told Miami’s News. ”The guy just kept eating the other guy away, like ripping his skin.”


Vega quickly alerted a passing police officer, who attempted to stop the attack. ”[The] police officer came over, told him several times to get off, and a police officer climbed over the divider and got in front of him and said, ‘Get off!’  and told him several times, and the guy just stood his head up like that, with a piece of flesh in his mouth, and growled,” recalled Vega.

When the man refused to back away, the officer shot him once. He continued biting, however, stopping only after several more shots were fired, eventually killing him.

The victim, an unidentified homeless man, was rushed to a hospital, with critical injuries. The skin on his face was ripped off, his eyes gouged and his nose mauled, leaving only his goatee.


Police suspect that the attacker, who has been identified as 31-year-old Rudy Eugene, had overdosed on a new, potent form of LSD. An ER doctor, meanwhile, told NBC that Eugene may have been high on “bath salts” — “a drug with amphetamine-like chemicals, nicknamed after the product it resembles.”  Whatever the explanation, it’s extremely likely that drugs were involved somehow. “Whenever we see that a person has taken all of his clothes off and has become violent, it’s indicative of this excited delirium that’s caused by overdose of drugs,” says Armando Aguilar of the Miami Fraternal Order of Police. “What’s happening is, inside their body, their organs are burning up alive.”

The Herald, whose offices are close to where the attack took place, released video footage of the grisly assault captured on their surveillance cameras.

“[It was] one of the most gruesome things I have ever seen in my life in person,” said Vega. ”You know, you see these things in the movies, but when you see it in person, it’s pretty traumatic
Heh Just another day in the life of a face eating Zombie!   

Damn Asian Hookers!

So I gots me one of those damn Asian Hookers that everyone keeps talking about…. I dont see what the fuss is all about, in fact its pretty damn annoying that After I kills me one, a Hour Later I want to kills me another one…

Cant get no sleep!

These damn hoodlums and those meddling dogs at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House are keeping me up all hours of the night with all that Banging and screaming going on during construction…  Oh Wait, oops never mind, seems I forgot one of captives…. dammit so many hookers sooooooo liddle time.  Now where did I leave those pruning shears? 

Tired of the word NO?

Hey you there, Yeah that guy… you know who Im talking to, you lil squirrely bastard, are you sick and tired of being alone every night, tired of the constant rejection from the opposite sex?  well why not do what Old Man Cox does, sit back and crack open a stiff one… cuz remember Dead Girls dont say NO,  Plus if properly cared for they last forever and ever and ever… While yer at it, she if shes got a friend for old man Coxy…. >:)

Working out…..

Browsing thru the fan mail this morning and I came across this particular letter, the writer wants to know Just how do I keep in shape to chase all those damn hookers…… Well Son, i’ve been working out, watching who I eat, and in case you failed to notice,  Ive got the Body of a 20 year old….. Course shes duct taped in the back of the truck, but shes all mine god damn it! So with that said, How the hell do you stay in shape?

Look what somebody did to that poor girl….

Ahahahahahaha them damn fools will make one of those motivational style posters about anything these days… Who the hell do they think left that damn dead hooker there… it was me! oh wait , that could be incriminating evidence used against me in one of those damn courts of law.. What I had Meant to say was…. I do believe I saw Tranny Granny in the vicinity of said dead hooker in the night of question.. yeah thats it, it was TRANNY GRANNY!!