Hey there kiddies! Its your good ole buddy Bodybags from DarkSyde Acres haunted house in Jonesville, Michigan. As you already know DarkSyde Acres is one of the worlds biggest halloween season themed Haunted houses. Geared toward an older crowd with all of its indoor attractions stuffed full of Blood Guts Gore and more, DarkSyde Acres decided in 2012 to Make it abit more friendly for the families by adding several outdoor attractions, so bundle up those kiddies and come on out for a fun filled fall evening with Hayrides, Bon fires, and a Outdoor maze. Feeling abit more brave are ya? Then maybe its time you put your big boy panties on and venture into our indoor waiting area with over 5000 square feet of entertainment, Thats right I said over 5000 square feet! Yes sir I do know that is bigger than most other Haunted Houses and yes maam I realize that is just the waiting area before you even enter our 3 indoor Haunted houses with over 70,000 square feet of in your face, blood curdling terror!

While waiting in our indoor queline, you will be enveloped into our very own altered state of reality, it’s within these walls that your journey begins, you see,here at Darksyde Acres haunted house, they strive to give you a evening that you’ll never forget. Let me tell you, I like a good old fashioned warped sense of humour as much as the next guy, but these folks here at Darksyde, just ain’t right! I was talking with Rob Johnson, one of the creators at Darksyde Acres, about why in the world would they create such a huge waiting area and then stuff it full of scenic design and over the top characters, His answer? Plain and simple, bigger is better, He then went on to expain that sometimes during peak Halloween season, The wait can be a hour or so and they wanted their guests to be inside out of the weather as well as be entertained during the entire wait. Nothing is worse than having to wait for the fun to begin, so at DarkSyde we make sure the fun starts right away and continues all the way home. Boy let me tell ya, That Rob Johnson sure is a looker and I bet his Brains are dericious!

Once you get thru the queline and you give Elvis your tickets, (Thats right I said Elvis, you didnt really think he was dead did ya?) you enter the first of 3 haunted houses, THE CATACOMBS! DarkSydes very own breed of Zombies, just waiting to kick your butts and spill your guts… These Zombies may not have the personality of your all time favorite brain juice slurping, cranium cracking, eye socket poking,zombie BodyBags, but what they do have is the incredible over the top Hollywood style FX work by Bodybag Entertainment. These Zombies are so realistic you can just smell the decay as they assault you from every which way. If you are one of the lucky ones to make it through the onslaught, youll make your way towards THE RUSTHOLE, but not before being met up with some of DarkSydes resident clowns, These aint your every day ordinary clowns, as Bubbles told me during a quick interview, Clowns are for circus’s and birthday parties, since he dont smell no elephants and i wasnt wearing no party hat, he quickly pointed out that FUN TIME was on!
I wont go into further detail, but all I will say is…. I need an adult. Bubbles, Pickles and the rest of those red nosed, horn honking, big shoe wearing clowns will violate you in every sense of the word.

As I walk through the corridors at DarkSyde Acres, I am constantly amazed at the level of detail in every scene, these guys know how to build a haunted house, now mind you this isnt one of those haunted houses
or halloween themed attractions that is full of store bought halloween props and costumes, nor is it full of animatronics hissing and popping up after you have already walked by, everything is professionally created on location by Bodybag Entertainment. I asked John Pascarella, another creator at Darksyde why they chose actors over animatronics, he replied that Actors can adapt to a situation and insure that every scare is unique and that in his opinion, Animatronics just arent that scary. Personally I have to agree with John on that note, not to mention that actors are way more tastier than a animatronic pop up scare. mmmmm mmmm good!

Ok then back into the haunt, Next in line, yes next in line, the creators of Darksyde Acres conviently placed all 3 haunts in a row, making it so you only have to leave the building one time to enter all 3 haunted attractions. The RUSTHOLE is Michigans Darkest Black maze and full of surprises, This Haunted house is so dark, you may actually want to run into the rustholians to plee for your release, not that they will let you out, hell the last time I was in the RustHole, it took me nearly 3 damn days to get out BUT, those Rustholian girls kept this old bag of sagging flesh busy. I asked Rob Johnson why the hell did he make the Rusthole so damn dark and he said its what his guests suggested after visiting the DARK ABYSS, an Elborately detailed well lit Premiere Pirate themed Haunted attraction at DarkSyde. Rob said that his guests were amazed at how scary the Dark Abyss was but suggested perhaps adding a dark area, Rob and the crew at Bodybag Entertainment took it one step further and created a entire haunted house themed into the darkness within.

Well Kiddies, Im not going to let the cat out of the bag on all the attractions at DarkSyde Acres Haunted House, but Ive got to tell you about their Zombie Massacre Paintball Challenge, They Locked up a few of my buddies and have turned Shooting Zombies into an outdoor midway attraction. As a Zombie, I am calling FOUL on this event… How rude! How would you like it if the Zombies turned it around and stuffed your buddies into a confined area and staed shooting you? Hell at least give the Zombies a couple of Paintball guns so they can shoot back!
Ok that concludes this little bit of information on Darksyde acres haunted house in Michigan, So if you like Zombies,Clowns, ghouls, pirates, and a slew of other deranged individuals, be sure to check in to www.darksydeacres.com for updates on the 2012 halloween season.

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